I'm in that phase of life again where exhaustion and boredom rules. I'm not contented with the way I go about my days. It's like I'm in that dreaded time loop where everything happens over and over again with no vision of better days to come. Nothing makes sense or nothing makes a difference...in anything. Yeah, I have that US opportunity to look forward to but that is still months away, if I'm lucky that is. But I have never been lucky in draws, lotteries, raffles, etc. I figured this may be due to my full-time day job where it's getting worse every month. I don't even know the company's vision anymore! Or if we're working towards that. I used to love it here and envisioned staying for not less than 5 years! Barely 3 years later, it became nothing but a burden. A means to have something to do with my time and earn at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I can do this for the next 5 years...happily. It's the environment that is suffocating me. My blood pressure is a testament to that. I'd like to believe the people in power are doing their best but they don't have the employees' best interest at heart. We're becoming one of those companies you do not promote to your friends.
I also can't seem to push through with my plans of starting to work from home. The problem with this is I don't know what I'm particularly good at. I can say with all certainty that I'm a fast learner and I work hard and I take initiative. That is for sure. All my previous supervisors can attest to that. What job can you have with that? I will pursue writing even if it kills me. The starting point is the hardest. I keep looking for workshops and short courses on how to improve my English Grammar and writing skills. I can't find any that is near my workplace. We do have the weekly Grammar Nerd training but it isn't enough. I need an English 101. I wanted to start with essays.ph but everything is so confusing and I can't find a clear support where they can walk you through the process. I've seen the way some of their writers write and I tell you, I can do better than that.
All I get from these is stress which in turn aggravate my insomnia. I figured this is what happens when you aren't doing what you really like...in life. If you are not where you want to be, it takes a toll on you and everything around you is meaningless.
It's the first day of November so I started a "goals" list to help me get through. I need to remind myself everyday of why I am still here and what to look forward to. I need to accomplish something each week that helps me reach the life I want.
I also can't seem to push through with my plans of starting to work from home. The problem with this is I don't know what I'm particularly good at. I can say with all certainty that I'm a fast learner and I work hard and I take initiative. That is for sure. All my previous supervisors can attest to that. What job can you have with that? I will pursue writing even if it kills me. The starting point is the hardest. I keep looking for workshops and short courses on how to improve my English Grammar and writing skills. I can't find any that is near my workplace. We do have the weekly Grammar Nerd training but it isn't enough. I need an English 101. I wanted to start with essays.ph but everything is so confusing and I can't find a clear support where they can walk you through the process. I've seen the way some of their writers write and I tell you, I can do better than that.
All I get from these is stress which in turn aggravate my insomnia. I figured this is what happens when you aren't doing what you really like...in life. If you are not where you want to be, it takes a toll on you and everything around you is meaningless.
It's the first day of November so I started a "goals" list to help me get through. I need to remind myself everyday of why I am still here and what to look forward to. I need to accomplish something each week that helps me reach the life I want.
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