Bottled in

If I just keep typing everything that goes on in my head, will that even make the slightest sense? Even for me? I used to wish there was some sort of device I can just stick to my head and it will print out (via bluetooth or whatever) all the thoughts I have. The nights are worse. Just when everybody else is sleeping or resting, my brain goes into hyper mode. How does the dark bring out the darkest thoughts inside me? Sometimes I wish I can just lock myself up in my room for days, lost in my thoughts...in my world. I've always known I'm an introvert. If I could, I would stay away from any human interaction for months! I don't like crowds or large groups. I'll work from home full-time

if only the telecom companies in this country can provide better internet connection. Add that I live in one of what they call "high-risk" communities so installation of anything is a problem. We even have to pick-up the cable guys from the Barangay as they refuse to go without any Tanod with them. DPWH stopped working in the village's drainage system due to threats. A Meralco technician has been shot once while cutting illegal wire connections. Well, I just hope with Arca South's development and Duterte's presidency, improvement of services can be extended here.

I'm in a rut for weeks! Like a zombie going through the motions. I feel lazy. I feel numb. I don't know what I feel. I'm angry at the unfair situation I see every day. I'm pissed at unreasonable people. I don't know what the heck is wrong with some of the individuals around me (thus, the reposting of Bitching). C'mon people! We're smarter than this! I hate the heat. I detest riding PUVs without airconditioning (and being stuck in traffic). I miss my BFF. I want to be with Jonnor every night. I wanna watch movies and tv shows and read books to my heart's content. I long to sleep. I need a vacation. A long one. If I do, will I find peace?

Finding one's self is a personal struggle. The hardest battle you'll ever have.



Make me alive. make me suffer. Make me feel...