I am mostly obliged to blog/write in moments of dire misery or extreme emotional or mental confusion, things that my brain (being stuck inside a small skull) alone cannot comprehend, hence the need to put it in full view where i can read and make some sense of it like an algebra equation or something. Talk about releasing stress. But then after sorting out my own inconsistencies, the algebra equation looks more like geometrical and/or trigonometry problems to be solved. I have never been good in either of the two. hence, I have never been good in formulating solutions into messes I had put upon myself. Maybe, that’s the answer to my high school long question "what can geometry and trigonometry do for me in the real world?" There’s more to life than numbers for goodness’ sake! From that I can get the answer "there’s more to life than the never-ending conflicts in my mind". But those never-ending conflicts, the conversations I have inside my head, that is my life. That is life. Probably.
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if I had not deleted my 1st blog and had kept all the entries in the archives, I think I would have already posted around 100(more or less) entries. and if I would delete the category "this I can totally relate to", maybe this would have been my perfect secret journal.
I used to be more confident in writing here since i used to believe no one reads this anyway. I mean, do you actually bother to check your friends’ updated blogs? I do, really and honestly, read ALL your blogs people. It maybe my knack for reading but believe me, it’s fun. I get to understand people more. I get to know the inner workings of their minds (or the lack of it. LOL), hearts (or absence thereof), and sometimes you get a peek of their soul, too. It validates my own worries and fears and aspirations. It makes them more real. It makes me feel more real.
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